Jul 22

352: Stop deferring your best life to "Future You" and create your best life NOW. Tips to focus on your longer term goals over immediate gratification.

Episode 352 - Parts I and II

On Air with Ella - live your best life now - episode 352 - "do it now" scrabble

We are wired for instant gratification. But creating our best life asks more of us.

Get episode 352 Part 1 transcript here.

Get episode 352 Part 2 transcript here.

What are You Putting off to Tomorrow?

Brian Moran's "12-Week Year" thesis is a game-changer. He says it's important for businesses to discard 'annualized thinking'; if you have annual plans, even if they're broken down into quarters, you essentially start to believe two things:

You believe that it's okay to fall behind a bit because you'll catch up - when in actual fact you fall behind a bit more, and
It's like committing to a fantasy: You believe that you're going to achieve greater things because you have the fantasy of more time and the magic of the end of year in mind.

But, Moran argues, if you bring things much closer, you can usually achieve the things that you said you were going to achieve in a year in about 12 weeks.

This idea in business is entirely relevant to our own self-growth, self-development and self-regulation, especially when it comes to investing in our:

Health - diet, exercise, adherence to recommended practices, mental/physical/spiritual wellness, etc
Relationships - intimacy, connection, friendships, professional relationships
Growth - education, skill acquisition, learning
Financial Wellbeing - cutting debt, reducing spending, investing, saving, building, etc

There's some magical thinking involved when we “future cast” i.e., future us will be better at making this happen. "I don’t have the ability, the time, the wherewithal to do this now, but future me will nail this." From food, to relationship improvement, to doing your personal accounting, the truth is that only now matters when it comes to personal development.

The Trap of "Present Bias"

There's a psychological concept called "present bias" that explains our tendency to prioritize immediate gratification over long-term goals. It's the reason for example, that we hit the snooze button instead of going for that morning run, or we might splurge on a new outfit instead of putting that money into savings.

Your Brain is Conflicted

Your brain is wired to prioritize immediate rewards over long-term benefits. This phenomenon partly stems from the constant battle between two distinct regions of our brain: the emotional part and the logical part.

The emotional part, associated with the limbic system, responds positively to instant rewards, while the logical part, located in the prefrontal cortex, tries to reason with us about long-term consequences.

The emotional part of our brain is responsible for processing feelings and automatic reactions. It tends to favor familiarity and instant gratification, even when it may not be in our best interest. On the other hand, the logical part of our brain is responsible for planning, decision-making, and impulse control. It considers the long-term consequences of our actions and pushes us towards choices that align with our future goals.

This constant tug-of-war between the emotional and logical parts of our brain explains why we often find it challenging to stick to our long-term plans. When faced with the opportunity to obtain an immediate reward, our emotional brain tends to overpower our logical brain, leading to impulsive decisions that prioritize short-term gratification.

By understanding how our brain is wired to prioritize immediate rewards and implementing strategies to overcome present bias, we can make more informed decisions that align with our long-term goals and aspirations.

How to Make the Right Choices

4 strategies to help the logical side of your brain win when making decisions:

Make the Right Decision Easier: Your brain seeks the path of least resistance. One effective strategy is to make the right decision the easier choice. By reducing the effort required to make the optimal decision, individuals are more likely to follow through.
Manage Your Environment: Manage your environment to support the desired behavior. This involves identifying triggers or cues that lead to undesired choices and modifying the environment to encourage better decisions.
Tend to Basic Needs: Taking care of basic needs such as sleep, nutrition, and overall well-being is crucial for making sound decisions. When basic needs are met, we are better equipped to resist impulsive choices and focus on long-term goals. Ensuring adequate rest, proper nutrition, and self-care can actually enhance decision-making abilities.
Tie the Best Choice to Immediate Rewards (or Loss Avoidance): By associating the desired behavior with immediate positive outcomes or loss avoidance, we can leverage our emotional brain to make better decisions.

PART II

'Future You" Isn't Coming

In part two of episode 352, we delved into the concept of "future you," that idealized version of ourselves who always seems to have it together and will start making positive changes tomorrow. But here's the truth - future you is a myth. The only version of you that exists and matters is present you.

We discuss practical strategies to kick future you to the curb and start living your best life now. Key Takeaways:

Ditch the All or Nothing Mentality: Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, be willing to take the next best step at any point. Reset and move forward from any setbacks.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, whether publicly or privately. Small victories build momentum towards bigger goals.
Find an Accountability Buddy: Share your wins and hold each other accountable. Create dedicated check-in times to stay on track with your goals. *** NEED A BUDDY? DM me "buddy" and let's talk about my Accountability coaching program***
Use the 'Future Self' Technique: Imagine your future self as a separate person and consider how your choices today will impact your future self. Think about how you want to be remembered and live a life you're proud of.
Automate Positive Habits: Make the right choices easier by automating tasks that support your goals, such as setting up automatic savings transfers or scheduling workouts in advance.
Break Auto-Pilot Habits: Identify and challenge habits that are on autopilot but not serving you. Take a moment to pause and make intentional choices instead of reacting automatically.

You have the power to create the life you desire. The only person standing in your way is the version of you that chooses the easy, familiar option. Today - right now - you have the ability to make positive changes and lead a fulfilling life.