14 hours ago

383: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Neglect - Taking Care of Yourself is a Responsibility not a Luxury

Episode 383 On Air with Ella

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Neglect - Taking Care of Yourself is A Responsibility not a Luxury episode On Air with Ella

Revolutionizing Self-Care: Why Prioritizing Yourself is Not Selfish

We need to start taking better care of ourselves. I mean really taking care of ourselves, not just squeezing in a manicure once a month and calling it self-care.

I am talking about taking care of your body, your mind, your peace, your wellbeing. A lot of us are bumping our needs to the curb. And we are running ourselves ragged, burning the candle at both ends. If that sounds even remotely familiar, then I'm talking to you!

Do you feel at all like you put everyone else's needs before your own?

Do you feel like you're running yourself into the ground - on repeat?

If you feel like you are burning the candle at both ends, and that you'll just "deal with it later" when life is simpler and easier, here's the truth:

Taking care of yourself, it's not a luxury. It's not selfish. It is your responsibility.

I know what you are thinking - "I don't have time. Why are you even talking to me about this as we are going into holiday season?" Or you might say, "I'm too tired to even think about self-care - don't add something to my to-do list!"

And I hear you. But let's be honest with ourselves - these are excuses. These excuses are not just keeping you stuck, they are leading you to a brick wall that you will eventually run into.

It's the same story for millions of women of our generation.

We tend to do is we experience guilt whenever we put our needs first. We feel like we're taking something away from someone else if we're prioritizing your own needs. We've been conditioned to believe that prioritizing ourselves is selfish. We somehow feel that our worth is tied to how much we sacrifice for others.

This is a trap designed to keep us exhausted and depleted - and we're doing it to ourselves.

Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. In fact, ignoring your own body, your mind, your spiritual wellness is a selfish act. When you neglect your own needs, you deplete your emotional and physical resources. That can lead to resentment, burnout, and a whole host of physical problems.

Must we wait until we run into a wall to start taking care of ourselves? Must we run at 100 miles an hour into a brick wall before we stop, reassess, and take care of ourselves? So many of us wait until a significant event such as a health crisis or a complete emotional breakdown before we reassess our priorities.

We are responsible for our own well-being and it is our responsibility to not wait until we run into that metaphorical wall that is our health, a diagnosis, a relationship crisis.

We Have to Save Ourselves: Strategies for Change

How can we change our course? By actively engaging in the things that we need, setting boundaries where we need to, and making choices that prioritize our needs instead of celebrating coming in dead last.

Develop Self-Awareness: Recognize the signs of stress and burnout. Be honest with yourself about your mental and emotional well-being.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to low-value tasks that drain your energy and time.
Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mentality: Start small. Commit to one action each week that prioritizes your needs.
Give Yourself Permission: Allow yourself to rest and prioritize your well-being without guilt.
Challenge Guilt Triggers: Recognize and confront feelings of guilt when you prioritize yourself. Remind yourself that your needs are valid.

RESOURCES THAT CAN HELP:

1. The No Club, Putting a Stop to Women's Dead-End Work by Linda Babcok et al

2. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

3. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

4. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

It is time to break the cycle of self-neglect.

When you start taking care of yourself, every single area of your life improves. Your relationships get better because you're not a resentful, exhausted mess. Your work improves because you have the energy to focus on that at that time. Your health improves because you're actually paying attention to it.

It is time to show up for yourself the way you show up for everyone else. And it is time to set an example for everyone around you. I challenge you to a revolutionary act this week.

I challenge you to identify one thing that you have been putting off for yourself and GO DO THAT!

Taking care of yourself, it's not a luxury. It's not selfish. It is your responsibility.

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