On Air with Ella {BLOG}
Overcoming Food Obsession & Body Image Issues
A NOTE FROM ELLA TO THOSE STRUGGLING WITH EATING DISORDERS AND NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE
For so long, I was restricting my foods, obsessing over my failures, binge eating, then shaming myself and my inability to change.
The cycle looked something like this: Restriction > Binge > Shame > Repeat
I was moralizing my food choices (I called it "clean eating"), and obsessing about my body’s imperfections. I was sometimes lean and fit, and sometimes soft and doughier than I liked.
In every case, I was miserable.
It took a lot of reading, learning and exploring to undo decades of moralizing food choices and detaching my identity from what I saw in the mirror. Doing the work to change this "habit" - this cycle I created for myself - was a great challenge. Here's what I want you to know...
I am not a counselor, not a guru, not a nutritionist, not a registered dietitian. All I am is someone who’s been through it.
What I have left behind:
In order to spend my energy on things that served me far better than obsession, I let go of:
1. Constant Body Scrutiny - Scanning for flaws in the mirror and criticizing my body daily (this actually meant looking in the mirror less)
2. Checking my weight - Absolutely no scale, no weighing - ever. There’s no upside there for me.
3. Body Talk - no more complaining to my hubby about my body, no more swapping stories with my buddies, and I don't oblige comments from anyone on "body talk" (Did you know?... you can reject this dialogue with strength, kindness and consistency!)
4. Unrealistic Comparisons - Notions that I should look a certain way because "I used to" or because "she does." Believing I should look like my former self or others bred dissatisfaction.
5. Self-Absorption - Self-focus (I really wanted to stop thinking about myself so very much)
What I Took On:
1. New outlook, new energy - I now spend my energy on SO MANY MORE things. I'm not exaggerating. When you're managing food obsession, binge eating or body dysmorphia, it's a full-time, brain-eating, resource-consumptive job. My brain - and my time - is now elsewhere.
2. Presence - Letting go of self-criticism opened me up to appreciating experiences fully.
3. Intuitive Eating - Listening to body cues about hunger, satiation and also wanting to eat to "soothe" emotions - I can now do all 3, peacefully! (I truly never thought that I could!). I now eat for nourishment and/or joy, and always with intention - not with restriction.
4. Gratitude for experiences that I can enjoy, instead of worrying about what I looked like having those experiences.
Conversations that can help
"Body Image" Playlist: ON AIR WITH ELLA
If you’re struggling, just know that this is a topic very familiar to me and to the On Air with Ella podcast. The above is a playlist designed specifically for you - you can click on it to access these episodes that specifically address this topic, or simply refer to the episode numbers in your own podcast app.
Can you relate to this?
I want to care about my body, and yet not think about it all day.
I want to live in it, but not at for it.
I want to be strong and vibrant and flexible and happy in every body I show up in.
I simply want to be an example of what's possible - just like you. If you need help, ASK FOR IT.
If you ever want a list of the books and resources that helped get me through, just hit me up with a DM. There is so much on the other side of food obsession. True freedom really is possible.
Ella xoxo
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xxoo Ella